I was doleful over the weekend. My grand mother had passed away. She crossed eighty last year. Much of my toddler days were spent under her care while my Mom worked as a teacher. She was also the one who had inspired me towards spiritualism. Naturally, I felt connecting to the higher power for some questions about her. I was in a frozen state watching the gray clouds pass by - homeostasis as the scientists has termed it. My door bell rang, unfreezing me. I hoped it was not another invitation for joining a society. When I reached the door, there was no one at the front. I checked my back door. But, again no one at the back. So, I returned to the front door. I noticed a pamphlet tied on my door knob. Perhaps, another solicitor has added junk for my recycle bin.
I opened the pamphlet, and it read -
“Are you feeling sad? (I answered Yes)
Are you feeling depressed? (I answered sometimes)
Are you feeling lonely? (I answered May be!)
Do not wait!!!
Dial 1 800 CALL GOD
All your answers are available just a phone call away!
Connect to the Lord above!
Do not wait!!!
*call charges may apply in some areas. Please check with your local phone company.
”
I went out to my walkway. I could not see anyone distributing pamphlets in my street. Since, I am accustomed to the strange encounters, I intended to give it a shot. If not at least the call would serve as grievance counseling for me.
I dialed the number. It went to a busy tone. We have almost seven billion humans on Earth. Each of us has the ability to dial a phone along with some trained apes – dreaming to take over Hollywood if not the planet. Certainly, a busy tone was justifiable. I attempted another try. It also docked to a busy tone.
It was noon. I was hungry. I started preparing ingredients for cooking a meal for myself. I recall onion was half cut, when my brain triggered a neuron, which controlled my fingers, to dial one more time. This time too I got busy tone. My pan was waiting to fry some vegetables. So, I left the phone on the speaker and returned to cooking. The busy tone continued to ring for a minute or two, then it turned into a ring tone.
My attention returned to the phone. I paused the cooking activity. Although, onions continued to make my eyes moist.
“Hello! This is a counselor at the Gates, how can I help you?” a female voice asked.
I stumbled to answer. I explained to the voice on the other side that I received a pamphlet; hence I am calling.
“Sir! Thank you for using our service. How can we help you?”
I asked them to explain the nature of their service.
“Sir! You will get three questions free. If you are satisfied and should you choose to continue, you will be billed at ninety cents per minute. If you are not satisfied, you can discontinue the service, no questions asked. Would you like to sign-up Sir?”
It was still not clear to me what type of service this was. So, I repeated my question.
“We connect you directly to the higher power. He will answer you, all you need is faith in him,” she replied.
I was curious, so I agreed to accept their trial offer. I handed over my credit card details over the phone. Although, at the back of my head, word Scam screamed loudly.
The female voice on the phone instructed me to ask questions when ready. She also advised me to keep questions authentic. I was allowed to ask anything related to my personal life only.
My first question was, “Is my Grand Ma at peace?”
A soothing male voice answered, “Jay! I am sorry to hear about your Grand Mother. She was a pious lady. Always worshiping me for your good luck, and finding you a bride. At the end of her prayers, she would remember you, and ask me to forgive you...”
My heart melted on learning about my Grand Mother prayers. I did not understand why was she asking for forgiveness. I had not committed any crime.
“...Jay! Crime is a subjective measure. There are some grave crimes and some minor. I perceive them as tiny sins. For example, a drop of water cannot quench the thirst of a human. But many tiny drops of water...it can fill a pitcher...more tiny drops of water...can form a lake...more tiny drops of water...can form an ocean....”
I said to myself, “I got it!”
The voice was as if reading my mind, “...I understand. My point is a sin is a sin – whether small or big. If you ignore a sin because it is small, it will some day accumulate to a bigger sin. Your Grand Ma was a kind lady. Bless her heart. She requested for forgiveness to your tiny sins.”
“Is my Grand Ma at peace?” I interrupted.
“Jay! Do not cry. Life and Death are just passage of time – like day and night...”
I was not crying, the onions in my kitchen were intense.
“Jay! Pay attention. Why are you multitasking? Pay attention. I can see you everywhere...”
So, I moved out of my kitchen to my patio and uttered, “Satisfied!”
“Yes, that is better!”
I was incensed.
“Jay, do not be angry. Anger eats your mind. It is then you make bad decisions. Bad decisions lead to unfortunate times. Unfortunate times make you unhappy and sad. Your sadness leads to the prayers. Prayers give peace to the soul. Hence proved, a soul is thus happy when not angry.”
“Can you answer the question regarding my Grand mother please?” I pleaded with peaceful composure.
“Jay! Your Grand mother wished you a happy life. You should think like her. Remember Murphy's Law. Whatever is supposed to go wrong, would go wrong eventually. So, stop worrying. What has happened is past. Do not dwell in the past. Time is a valuable entity. Use it wisely. Accept your limitations and strength. A day was when you were a kid playing in your Grand mother's lawn. A day is today you have your own lawn. A day will come when you will be buried near a similar lawn. Value what you have in your hand. Spend the kindness you inherited from your Grand mother. You will be thankful for this day in the end.”
“You still did not answer my question,” I commented.
Suddenly, the voice was gone, and the female voice returned, “Sorry Jay! As I mentioned, you could only ask three questions. Are you choosing to accept our services?”
“What are you talking about? I only asked one question,” I retorted.
“No Jay! You asked three questions let me count – first Is my Grand Ma at peace?... second Is my Grand Ma at peace? ….third Can you answer the question regarding my Grand Mother please. So, see three questions!”
I chose not to accept their service. I tossed the pamphlet in my recycle bin, and returned to cooking my self a meal.
I was indignant. I was disappointed. My original question was left unanswered. Then, another door bell rang. I rushed to the door. No one was there. Another pamphlet was tied on my door knob. It read -
“Are you feeling angry?...”
(References: I Am 82)
I opened the pamphlet, and it read -
“Are you feeling sad? (I answered Yes)
Are you feeling depressed? (I answered sometimes)
Are you feeling lonely? (I answered May be!)
Do not wait!!!
Dial 1 800 CALL GOD
All your answers are available just a phone call away!
Connect to the Lord above!
Do not wait!!!
*call charges may apply in some areas. Please check with your local phone company.
”
I went out to my walkway. I could not see anyone distributing pamphlets in my street. Since, I am accustomed to the strange encounters, I intended to give it a shot. If not at least the call would serve as grievance counseling for me.
I dialed the number. It went to a busy tone. We have almost seven billion humans on Earth. Each of us has the ability to dial a phone along with some trained apes – dreaming to take over Hollywood if not the planet. Certainly, a busy tone was justifiable. I attempted another try. It also docked to a busy tone.
It was noon. I was hungry. I started preparing ingredients for cooking a meal for myself. I recall onion was half cut, when my brain triggered a neuron, which controlled my fingers, to dial one more time. This time too I got busy tone. My pan was waiting to fry some vegetables. So, I left the phone on the speaker and returned to cooking. The busy tone continued to ring for a minute or two, then it turned into a ring tone.
My attention returned to the phone. I paused the cooking activity. Although, onions continued to make my eyes moist.
“Hello! This is a counselor at the Gates, how can I help you?” a female voice asked.
I stumbled to answer. I explained to the voice on the other side that I received a pamphlet; hence I am calling.
“Sir! Thank you for using our service. How can we help you?”
I asked them to explain the nature of their service.
“Sir! You will get three questions free. If you are satisfied and should you choose to continue, you will be billed at ninety cents per minute. If you are not satisfied, you can discontinue the service, no questions asked. Would you like to sign-up Sir?”
It was still not clear to me what type of service this was. So, I repeated my question.
“We connect you directly to the higher power. He will answer you, all you need is faith in him,” she replied.
I was curious, so I agreed to accept their trial offer. I handed over my credit card details over the phone. Although, at the back of my head, word Scam screamed loudly.
The female voice on the phone instructed me to ask questions when ready. She also advised me to keep questions authentic. I was allowed to ask anything related to my personal life only.
My first question was, “Is my Grand Ma at peace?”
A soothing male voice answered, “Jay! I am sorry to hear about your Grand Mother. She was a pious lady. Always worshiping me for your good luck, and finding you a bride. At the end of her prayers, she would remember you, and ask me to forgive you...”
My heart melted on learning about my Grand Mother prayers. I did not understand why was she asking for forgiveness. I had not committed any crime.
“...Jay! Crime is a subjective measure. There are some grave crimes and some minor. I perceive them as tiny sins. For example, a drop of water cannot quench the thirst of a human. But many tiny drops of water...it can fill a pitcher...more tiny drops of water...can form a lake...more tiny drops of water...can form an ocean....”
I said to myself, “I got it!”
The voice was as if reading my mind, “...I understand. My point is a sin is a sin – whether small or big. If you ignore a sin because it is small, it will some day accumulate to a bigger sin. Your Grand Ma was a kind lady. Bless her heart. She requested for forgiveness to your tiny sins.”
“Is my Grand Ma at peace?” I interrupted.
“Jay! Do not cry. Life and Death are just passage of time – like day and night...”
I was not crying, the onions in my kitchen were intense.
“Jay! Pay attention. Why are you multitasking? Pay attention. I can see you everywhere...”
So, I moved out of my kitchen to my patio and uttered, “Satisfied!”
“Yes, that is better!”
I was incensed.
“Jay, do not be angry. Anger eats your mind. It is then you make bad decisions. Bad decisions lead to unfortunate times. Unfortunate times make you unhappy and sad. Your sadness leads to the prayers. Prayers give peace to the soul. Hence proved, a soul is thus happy when not angry.”
“Can you answer the question regarding my Grand mother please?” I pleaded with peaceful composure.
“Jay! Your Grand mother wished you a happy life. You should think like her. Remember Murphy's Law. Whatever is supposed to go wrong, would go wrong eventually. So, stop worrying. What has happened is past. Do not dwell in the past. Time is a valuable entity. Use it wisely. Accept your limitations and strength. A day was when you were a kid playing in your Grand mother's lawn. A day is today you have your own lawn. A day will come when you will be buried near a similar lawn. Value what you have in your hand. Spend the kindness you inherited from your Grand mother. You will be thankful for this day in the end.”
“You still did not answer my question,” I commented.
Suddenly, the voice was gone, and the female voice returned, “Sorry Jay! As I mentioned, you could only ask three questions. Are you choosing to accept our services?”
“What are you talking about? I only asked one question,” I retorted.
“No Jay! You asked three questions let me count – first Is my Grand Ma at peace?... second Is my Grand Ma at peace? ….third Can you answer the question regarding my Grand Mother please. So, see three questions!”
I chose not to accept their service. I tossed the pamphlet in my recycle bin, and returned to cooking my self a meal.
I was indignant. I was disappointed. My original question was left unanswered. Then, another door bell rang. I rushed to the door. No one was there. Another pamphlet was tied on my door knob. It read -
“Are you feeling angry?...”
(References: I Am 82)
Please do not call the number - it is just a fiction!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jay for alerting about the number :) I would have surely called at least once. I am sure wherever your grand ma is, she is in a better place than where we are today. May her soul be with the Almighty in peace.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, I really need such a line to talk to someone up there :)